Kids These Days

"Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager" (Nighthawkwill7)
02/28/2014 at 11:17 • Filed to: None

Apparently they don't teach traffic safety in school anymore, because a group of schoolboys who see me coming down the road, still walked out in front of me while I was going 45mph like if the road was some kind of hallway. There was no one behind me, was crossing the road really worth being run down by 3,200lbs of automobile?

I was able to stop just in time but the boys proceeded to defiantly stare me down like if I was at fault. Just be thankful I didn't teach you a lesson in physics and turn your punk ass into a hood ornament.

Now get off my lawn!
/rant

DISCUSSION (16)

RacecaR > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:21

YOLO THO YO!

Sounds like the kids just need a good spanking from their parents who are too busy being their friends instead of their parents.

Casper > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:28

Kids just aren't getting enough swift kicks these days.

spanfucker retire bitch > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:34

I've been in situations before where some self-righteous asshole doesn't feel like getting out of the middle of the road for some god-knows-why reason.

My solution? I take my foot off the brake and just let my car slowly idle forward. It won't hurt them, but they ain't standing in the way of a ~3,000 lb car.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > RacecaR
02/28/2014 at 11:35

Ain't that the truth.

jariten1781 > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:37

Nah, that's just kids being dumb like they always are. A kid in my class in middle school got run over by a UPS truck walking back from lunch when a group did exactly what happened to you. Unluckily, the driver didn't get on the brakes until slightly too late. He barely hit the kid, but when he fell it was at just the right angle that his noggin hit the raised curb and that was all she wrote. About 20 of us were waiting at a stoplight that was no more than 20 yards away when the whole thing happened. This would have been in 93 or 94.

Kids are just dumb no matter what the time period, I imagine cavemen had the same thoughts.

RacecaR > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:38

Did you at least honk at them?

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > spanfucker retire bitch
02/28/2014 at 11:41

I'm not a confrontational person but things like this just piss me off. The idling thing seems like an effective way of dealing with situations like this. It's not like the guy is going to become Hulk and stop you lol.

spanfucker retire bitch > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:43

Exactly. At 3mph, he's not going to get hurt and I'm not going too fast for him to get out of the way in time - but he's not going to be able to just stand in the same spot as my car is inching forward. He's not a concrete poll stuck in the ground or anything.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > RacecaR
02/28/2014 at 11:44

No but I did give the kid the most menacing glare I could muster, must've done the trick.

RacecaR > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 11:45

Should have offered them candy and used the Herbert voice...

Kinja'd!!!

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > RacecaR
02/28/2014 at 11:45

Haha.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > jariten1781
02/28/2014 at 11:51

I'm pretty sure Darwin would have something to say about people who knowingly step in the way of a ton and half of steel moving at speed, lol.

Übel > spanfucker retire bitch
02/28/2014 at 12:43

If you're feeling exceptionally vindictive and you have a manual transmission, you could also goose it a bit to make it jump, then keep your foot on the gas and clutch in. It'll make it look & sound like you're about to run their ass down but without having to actually do it.

MrCrash > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
02/28/2014 at 13:38

I've had something similar happen. On a dark stretch of road, a group of kids ran out into heavy traffic screaming YOLO. Unfortunately, Darwin was on break.

I've found a couple things help when people do that crap (assuming you have a louder than stock exhaust). First, if you catch them far enough away, a brief stomp on the throttle can get their attention and their feet moving. Second, engine braking while slowing down. The RPMs rising makes them think you are going faster than you are and sometimes gets them going. If all else fails, turn off traction control and let the bastard(s) choke on tire smoke.

Hi there > MrCrash
02/28/2014 at 14:11

My exhaust isn't louder than stock, but at stock 7500 RPM is plenty loud. Couple neutral throttle floorings and then engine braking. Rare is the occasion where this method does not work.

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > MrCrash
02/28/2014 at 14:27

My car has a stock exhaust ('97 Chevy Malibu LS) and it's automatic but the tire smoke trick might help lol.